The Beginning
Pool is a game where nerds can apply what they learn to outside of the classroom. I’m impressed when pool players calculate the angles and apply the physics needed to make great shots.
College was not easy for me. Between struggling in my courses, quarantine, and losing my mom, I was not doing as well as I wanted to.
I always saw people playing pool in the campus center, and I decided to give it a try. I wanted a chance to feel smart outside of the classroom.
I started playing consistently in my senior year, and I immediately knew how horrible I was compared to the men around me.
I remember playing in front of one of my friends, and when I missed an easy shot, he joked that I “pulled an ‘Annie.'”
I also remember sinking the 8-ball that same night; I was so nervous because I didn’t want to mess up an easy shot. I remember the joy when I made it, which was short-lived when he said, “That would’ve been great if you’d called it.”
That stung, but I thought that I just needed to practice.
I’d work so hard that I’d be just as good as the men around me! I would become one of those strong female characters with my own movie montage!
Nope.
Decline
I remember that same friend would try to teach me how to play while we were in active play. I hated it so much because not only did I not like him doing me favors, but I’d still do a bad job despite his advice.
I remember that I told him to stop giving me advice while we were playing, and he said, “Well, you make stupid shots.”
After that, I decided that we shouldn’t play pool together anymore. I’d practiced without him, and after a while when we were both at the pool tables, he said that I’d gotten better, but I’d still sometimes choke in front of him.
I tried so hard to prove that I could be great, and it was embarrassing that I couldn’t be consistent.
It was as if I wasn’t actually good, but just sometimes lucky.
As I kept trying to prove my skills, it seemed like the more I played, the worse I got.
I hated that he was right to look down on me.
All I did was “pull ‘Annies.'”
So much for that movie montage.
Break
For a while, I stopped playing pool. I thought that if I was going to feel so bad every time I didn’t play well, then maybe I should just stop altogether.
I needed to stop placing all of my worth on this game.
New York City
I planned to visit my friend Richard in New York City in October of last year. I liked the idea of playing pool in Manhattan, so I started playing again.
In Manhattan, we went to Society Billiards. I immediately noticed how much nicer the cues and tables were here than at my college.
I ended up beating my New Yorker friend 2-to-1.
Takeaway
Sometimes you need to be okay with being good enough when you can’t be the best, and sometimes you need to step outside of your environment in order to realize that you are good enough.
My college was full of nerds who dedicated a LOT of time to pool. I would have been really lucky if I had beaten them.
Not that I am blameless. I know that I could have been a better sport, especially to my friend from college.
I shouldn’t have constantly tried to prove him wrong.
Taking that break from pool made me realize that it is okay to not place your entire worth on one activity. Playing at Society Billiards made me realize that I am more than okay at it in the real world.
Now, I am now significantly better at pool than I was two years ago.
My practice may have not been montage-worthy, but thanks to Richard and Society Billiards, I now know that I am at a good place.
I also know that I will probably never be as good as my friend from college, but maybe just having a fraction of his skill can be enough.
I am okay with being good enough.
