Dreams of the Future (Revisiting Last Night in Soho)

Do you ever worry about pursuing your dreams? More specifically, do you ever worry that the world will punish you for having ridiculous dreams? Because the odds of success are small and you’re probably not that special?

Preview

This summer, I watched “Last Night in Soho,” directed by Edgar Wright. This trippy horror movie stars Thomasin McKenzie, Anya Taylor-Joy, and the iconic Diana Rigg, may she rest in peace.

The main character, Eloise, is a psychic and aspiring fashion designer. Growing up in Cornwall, she gets accepted into the London College of Fashion. Immediately after she moves to London, Eloise realizes that she is alone in the big city with active opponents. A taxi driver tells her that she has the legs to be a model. Her roommate goes out of her way to put her down. Already, Eloise can feel the weight of the obstacles ahead of her.

Eloise eventually finds a new apartment and experiences visions of who she thinks is her alter ego, Sandie. She watches Sandie confidently audition to sing and dance at a nightclub. More significantly, she watches Sandie rebuff unwanted advances from men who obviously want to use her. Where Eloise is shy when confronted with obstacles, Sandie swats them away as if they were flies. These visions initially inspire in Eloise a new sense of confidence to pursue her dreams.

Unfortunately, it turns out Sandie isn’t an alter ego, but a real person who also has obstacles to overcome.

Punished for Having Dreams

When a lot of people pursue their dreams, they face challenges that make them regret having dreams at all. Maybe they failed a seminar that counted toward their major. Perhaps they choked at the interview for their job. Perhaps they applied to over a hundred jobs and did not get a reply. Maybe they fell for a scam.

These obstacles make them feel as if they would be better off if they had stayed small. Sandie says in defeat that she might not be better than her circumstances. Eloise almost destroys her originally designed dress from the stress. Perhaps Eloise feels like she’s being punished for having creative dreams by seeing what happens to ambitious women like Sandie. The tolls convince them that they were foolish to pursue their dreams and would be better off if they had stayed realistic.

It’s natural to have these thoughts, but it’s important to not let them win.

Even in the cases when you end up not getting the job of your dreams, you were not wrong to have those dreams in the first place. People try things that do not work out all the time. That doesn’t mean that they were wrong to try them in the first place. You are not wrong for wanting more out of the life that you currently have.

Eloise was not wrong to leave Cornwall and start a life in London. She was not wrong to pursue fashion and be inspired by Sandie. Sandie was not wrong to want to become a singer. It wasn’t Sandie’s fault that the people that she trusted exploited her.

You are not wrong for having dreams. Other people putting you down or taking advantage of you is not your fault.

My Experience

I am pursuing a career in the video game industry as a 3D environment artist. I’ve trusted authority figures who thought that they could talk to me disrespectfully because they were above me professionally. Because they were accomplished professionals who knew me, I thought that if they didn’t respect me, it was my fault. This made me feel small, as if it were a mistake to pursue my dreams in the first place. As a result, I thought that I wasn’t better than my circumstances.

Yes, they were wrong to be disrespectful, but did you actually think that you had the talent to make it in the first place? If that is what your connections, the people who know you better than anyone else, think of you, then I guess that you’re just not that special.

It is devastatingly easy to succumb to this line of thinking. Just like fashion design and singing, video game art is a competitive creative business with no guarantees that you’ll be successful. If you do succeed, there is no guarantee that you’ll keep that success. If it turns out that you were never even remotely close to making those dreams a reality, you feel that you had no business having those dreams in the first place.

What were you thinking? Did you actually think that you were special?

Like I said, it’s easy to succumb to these thoughts.

Redefining Success

Today, there are a lot more of ways to define success. With the internet and social media, it is a lot easier to gain exposure to different audiences and creative industries. Aspiring singers can post covers and original songs online. Fashion designers can show off their portfolios and define their style. In my case, even if I don’t get a full-time job in a video game company when I graduate, freelance is another option. Websites like Fiverr, ArtStation, and TurboSquid are great for selling 3D models. Even if it is different from working in a studio with other artists, designers, and programmers, freelance is a viable route to get online exposure, making networking a lot easier.

Ultimately, whether I’m paid or not, I love making 3D environment models. I’ve learned over the past three years that there is no point in basing my worth solely on what I am paid to do. I know that enough people will already do that for me, so there’s no point in doing that myself. Even if I don’t find a job in a game company after I graduate, I am still a 3D environment artist.

Sometimes, our dreams aren’t going to turn out exactly how we think that they will. They might take longer than preferred to become reality. Some people realize that they don’t like the dreams once they’ve come true. Sometimes, people realize that they can’t make a sustainable living from their dreams alone. Regardless, if life doesn’t turn out exactly the way that you thought that it would, you shouldn’t feel as if you wasted your time and everyone else’s.

You are more than your physical circumstances. You are more than what people who don’t care about you say about you. Your whole worth is not determined solely on whether or not life turns out exactly the way that you plan it. Defeating those thoughts that state otherwise is one of the worst obstacles to overcome. If you can do that, then you’ve succeeded.

Sharing is Caring!