Do you ever hear a lesson repeatedly to the point that you’re so sick of it? Because of that, do you neglect it? Consequently, do you end up having to learn it all over again?
“It’s Okay to Cry”
Mental health is a common topic today, especially at my college.
“It’s okay to cry.”
“It’s okay to not be okay.”
“Your feelings are valid.”
“Take a mental health day.”
I appreciate these conversations but constantly having them in class with people that I don’t know can be draining.
I think that what makes this frustrating is that these people don’t go into detail about their mental struggles. They aren’t vulnerable or specific, and ultimately, there isn’t much substance to what they’re saying. Consequently, these discussions become preachy empty words, and I become annoyed with these people because it doesn’t feel like they know what they’re talking about. Maybe they got what they could off their chests, but since it’s an in-class group discussion, I think that I’m allowed to notice if it was unproductive.
It’s a vicious cycle: hearing the phrase “it’s okay to cry” repeatedly makes me want to cry, resulting in me neglecting that it’s okay to cry, then inevitably crying when something legitimately bad happens and being ashamed because I’ve forgotten that it’s okay to cry.
The Iron Claw
After Thanksgiving dinner, I watched “The Iron Claw” with my brother. This movie was about the famous wrestling family, the Von Erichs. (I really wanted to watch it because I have a massive crush on Harris Dickinson, who plays David Von Erich.)
As the movie progresses, it shows the consequences of not allowing yourself to cry. We see the Von Erich brothers as they’re riding the highs of their wrestling careers, enduring the physical tolls on their bodies, and suppressing their grief. The film does a good job of saying and showing that allowing yourself to cry doesn’t make you a lesser person. In fact, the film does a good job of showing the consequences of suppressing your emotions (and for those of you who don’t know, a lot of the Von Erich brothers died by suicide).
I think that we are a generation that is more cognizant of grief, anxiety, and depression than previous ones. The Von Erich brothers didn’t have that courtesy in the twentieth century.
Substance over Style (It Is Okay to Cry)
“The Iron Claw” didn’t just rely on empty words. We see what the Von Erich brothers endured, and as a result, we take their struggles seriously.
The acting, writing, and overall direction showed that crying doesn’t make you a lesser person and that actually holding in your emotions does a lot more damage, and in these cases, drives you to early death.
It’s not enough to repeatedly preach that “it’s okay to not be okay.” It devalues the importance of the message. I think that when people talk about anxiety, depression, and other fields of mental health, they need to be more specific about their experiences.
For those of you who think that I’m being too harsh, I have no problem with sharing my experiences. I’ve talked about undergrad, especially my mom’s death and my failures. I understand that talking about personal experiences with mental struggles is difficult, but these conversations wouldn’t be important if they were easy to have. I believe that being legitimately emotionally vulnerable does a lot more to destigmatize mental struggles than to simply say that it’s okay to not be okay.
If it’s okay to be vulnerable, then these people should practice what they’ve preached so they’re not preaching anymore.
